Sunday, February 24, 2013

Day 3: Being the tooth fairy wasn't on my itinerary

Today was the first day of the boys going to school and me working. Dawn told me to get Logan up around 6:20 a.m. for him to shower.  She also said that mornings are 'chop-chop' and not to dilly dally.  As a quick translation, that means, 'wake Logan up at 6:15, don't screw around, and for the love of God, don't suddenly introduce any kind of new behavior into the established routine.'

I know that most of the things described in these posts / my journal musings are old hat for any parent, but I'm not a mom. I'm a 31 year old single woman who rarely even has a schedule beyond gym, work, couch, rinse and repeat.  But this week I have an eight page itinerary that outlines my every intended move.  Kids need to be places, I need to pick them up, drop them off, and not fail, so here we go.  A little breakdown of my day, if for no one else's entertainment besides the kids' parents whom have so idiotically entrusted their children's lives to my care.

1. Showers.  Logan and Bryce did well, as planned and expected.   I was instructed to help Colton as necessary.  I thought I would stand back and see how things went without my intervention.  He screwed around for a good seven minutes when I finally opened the door to check his progress. I peaked in just in time to see him squirt out a handful of Axe body wash into his paw and mash it into his hair.  I watched to make sure he got it all rinsed out and called it good. I then blow dried his hair to see how Axe did on creating volume.  Not too shabby.  P.S. I may have added a new thing to their daily routine...a couple more days of me blow drying his hair and he's hooked.  Sorry, Dawn.

2. Dawn revealed to me about 14 years ago that she is crazy. She has a policy regarding Tupperware leaving her house, it doesn't. So, taking advantage of my freedom in her house, I took her Tupperware to work with my lunch in it today.  I laughed all the way to work.  No worries. It made it home and into the dishwasher without incident.

3.  I picked up Colton at babysitter #1 today.  We got home just in time to beat Bryce and the school bus with about 4 minutes to spare.  Snacks all around.  Then Colton comes to me saying his tooth is wiggly.  He wasn't kidding. It was really loose.  Knowing how much of a wuss I was about getting my teeth yanked, I figured I could ride this out a few days.  Nope, he wanted it out, and he wanted me to pull it, now.  While Bryce pulled every tool out of the junk drawer, trying to convince me that we would need at least a flashlight and a pliers, if not a corkscrew and knife, Colton and I wiggled it back and forth a little more.  Finally, I grabbed a paper towel, dried it off and gave it a couple good tugs, and out it comes.  Now begins the grueling process of figuring out what this tooth is worth.  I finally settled on $2.00 with a fairy signed note.  I hope it was good enough. Side note:  This was his first tooth!  He was completely fearless in getting that sucker yanked.

4.  Logan had reading group and basketball practice after school, so we had to pick him up on our way to RAD, their self defense class.  Long story short, I got lost, drove through the city pool's parking lot, and made some questionable maneuvers with Dawn's minivan, all in front of a cop who was patrolling the empty pool at 6:30 on a Monday night in February.  Seems reasonable.  Anyway, after some sketchy directions from the boys, I amazingly stumbled on the preschool.  Hopefully Wednesday will be easier.  Should be working off the same itinerary. 

5.  Bryce called me out on looking at my phone while I was driving.  Lesson learned. They know the rules and don't hesitate to let you know you're breaking them.  

It's 11:00 p.m. and you'd swear I was hit by a damn train. Time for me to snuggle up with Morgan, who by the way has a body temperature of about 200 degrees.  Last night I woke up and moved to the other side of the bed because I was sweating bullets with her all up in my space.  It's the least I can do though, she's been locked in her kennel all day.  Even this hardened heart has a soft spot for this little ding dong of a dog.  Also, she shit in her kennel today.  Her way of telling me that she's not okay with the current arrangements. 


  1. Oh, Val, what a delightful way to end my day!! Thanks. I had to read it to Al too:)

  2. Thanks, Deb. Hope Al enjoyed it as well! Now to finish out my week...hoping it won't dissappoint. I didn't take as detailed of notes towards the end. I got worn out!