Monday, November 22, 2010

And Then, I went on a date with a stripper.

And now he seems to be like Visa, everywhere I want to be.

I'm not sure what I was thinking. I knew before I went out with Kevin that he was an 'entrepreneur' and owned his own party bus service, that was like no where else in town. Ok, I'll bite, I thought. So I think this was a Sunday night date at Starbucks. He was like 6'7" tall and I was intrigued. I think this may have been the day after I typed the blog entitled, 'it happened :(' Not one of my happiest days.

Anyway, so he was strangely against meeting for alcoholic drinks...which is weird. I just wish Starbucks would suck it up and get a liquor license. At least that way the next time someone wants to meet me there I can go early and get an Irish Coffee or at least some Bailey's with my caffeine! He opened with a 15-20 minute story about how an ex girlfriend back in the day was a drug dealer, and since the money was so good, he joined her in some multi-state drug dealing business....and got busted. Prison stories are entertaining, btw. He was nothing if not interesting and colorful. Turns out after he got out of the big house, he attempted to get jobs everywhere, and this economy being the way it is, there just wasn't a lot available. So he decided to take advantage of his newly buff bod (he used his time wisely while he was in prison fending off the boys). He just so happened to be in prime shape to take it all off for a living. Just to be honest, he's a stripper broker which is the professional jargon for P.I.M.P. If you happen to be in any city in this great nation and google, "strippers in 'My Town USA'", he's got his biznass website set up to be one of the first websites that pops up. He's got a network of strippers all over the country that he's waiting to dispatch to your night of debauchery. He put my dingy stories to shame.

So there we are, sitting at Starbucks on a Sunday night exchanging stories about prison, drug deals gone bad, and the booming stripping business while cute college students sip their coffee and try to concentrate on their Calculus, meanwhile I can see their raised eyebrow and tweaked ear. I don't know how that date ended, possibly with an extremely awkward hug and a, 'Hey, I'll talk to you later! This was fun. We should do it again!' Who believes this shit?

Anyway, I may have talked or text him a few times after that date, he was hot, and I was kind of impressed that I could pull such a hot piece of a$$ (i didn't!), but I could have. Not the point. Clearly, what stopped me from pursuing this mess was the vision in my head of introducing him to my parents and grandparents. Sure, I'd have some dismayed cousins, and a couple others that might try to hide that they were impressed, but hell. I just couldn't spin the 'Entrepreneur' story quite far enough for it to be acceptable. I understand he was doing all he could do with his ex-con past lingering all over his job applications, and he wasn't interested in skanks.....but sorry, I'm just not your girl.

Anyway, a second meeting just wasn't in the cards. He always wanted me to come to his house, or him to my little hut (not happening)....strippin ain't easy, but I hear it's lucrative. Take a girl out!

His lack of enthusiasm for going to have a drink really confused me once I started running into him on random weeknights at bars in the 515...I think I may have even stopped going out with R3 during the week because I only saw him when I was with her. One night we were checking out a band downtown, and he lingered behind me for a very uncomfortable amount of time (felt like 2 hours). Then another night at Wellmans he was wearing a baby tee, size XS on his massive muscular frame, and couldn't be missed. Bloody Hell. I spend these nights staring at the opposing wall and making eye contact with people's shoes.

I wonder if I can get pics off of POF to post along with these stories?

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