I was reading up on some articles the other day and stumbled across two in particular that caught my eye: 10 things not to say to a stay-at-home mom and 10 things not to say to a working mom. I read them, laughed and thought “what about 10 things not to say to a single person?” I’ve come up with a list of 10 questions that I am tired of hearing. I am single, although I do have a significant other, and some of these questions I think people just assume it’s okay to ask since you’re dating. Well I’ve got news for you, it’s not. Stop asking, please.
When are you getting married?- Um just as soon as I have a ring on my finger I’ll let you know. This question is just awkward, especially if the SO is around. Yes we’ve talked about it and come to the conclusion that we’re in no rush. Why does every married couple think everyone has to get married? I figure about the time my married friends are getting divorced is the time I’ll get married – what a party that would be!
When are you having kids?-Ah yes, just because you enjoy not sleeping, never doing anything for yourself and not vacationing doesn’t mean that I’m ready to do all that. I’m not even sure I want kids – they seem like a LOT of work and I have a hard enough time managing myself. And PS, my dog has lived with my parents for 3 years now. I’ve been told you can’t do that with kids so I’ll just stick to myself and I for now.
When are you buying a house?- Great question. How about when I have absolutely nothing else I want to do with my money…or until I pay off the remodeling project from my first house with the ex. If anyone knows me, they know I’ve already been down this road and while it worked out well for him, his new wife and baby, it didn’t work out so well for me, financially. I still get the joy of owning a kitchen in a house I no longer live in every month on the 1st, and will for the next 83 years thanks to my fabulous credit cards.
Will you watch my child (for free)?-Okay, I don’t mind watching your child, really I don’t. But watching your child for FREE every time, well, it’s getting old. Yes, I realize you think I have nothing else to do with my time and that I probably just go to work and that’s it, but I have lots of other things that I like to do for myself. Stop taking advantage of the single friends – pay them as you’d pay a normal babysitter. We’re not there just to hang out with you 18 month old and watch cartoons.
Want me to put your name on the wedding/shower/etc gift?-I’ve been asked this question a lot recently and it’s SUPER annoying. A married friend of mine and I were in the same wedding and I volunteered to do (way too much) stuff for the wedding so I was cramped for time. But I don’t need you to ask me if I want you to put my name on the gift you and your husband are getting her, and only spending $20 on. Do you think about that question at all first?? “Lots of love and congratulations – Signed Wife, Husband and Traci.” I realize I may not have time to actually get them a gift to have at the wedding, but don’t make me look like I’m a complete slack-off and can’t do this on my own. Plus, my parents were at this wedding, I’d just tack my name onto their card if I was really pressed for time.
The following question does not pertain to single people in the least bit, but it’s one that’s been on my mind. For said wedding noted above, I volunteered myself and roomie to make 300 cupcakes for the reception. So most recently, we’ve been asked “How long does it take to make 300 cupcakes?” Well, considering we’d NEVER DONE IT BEFORE how the hell would I know? We watch Cupcake Wars, but those people are serious professionals and end up with baking assistants. But now after much prep and planning, I can actually answer this question honestly: 6 hours for baking, 2 hours for frosting prep and about 4 hours for frosting and set up. You may now ask me this question anytime you’d like, but please, stop asking me all those other dumb questions!