Friday, December 24, 2010

Merry Christmas from Me!

Ok, so we all know that I'm kind of an asshole, so this is pretty much the mention I deserve.  Below is my grandma's Christmas card this year.  Granted, I don't have a lot going on that people on her Christmas card mailing list would find impressive, and everyone else in my family is an active member of society...procreating, loving one another and such....


  Initially it set off what would be one of the biggest pity parties of 2010, but then....

I get a call from my sister. She had just left my mom's where my grandma was tearing up talking about how she felt so bad for me.  When Mom and Kim inquired as to why she would feel this way, she said, well, in her Christmas card, she sounded so sad!  What? Why?!  'Her card said that she was sorry she didn't have a picture of her husband and kids to include in her card. She just sounded sad!  (This is indeed what I wrote, but not with the least bit of sincerity!)  Mom and Kim picked up on this right away....oh, no Grandma, Val's fine! My mom threw in there that perhaps if I'd answer my damn phone once in awhile, maybe I'd have myself a BF.  After hearing that my grandma was seriously sad for me, I figured I'd set the record straight.  I called grandma.  'Grandma, it's Val...I hear that there was a little confusion from my Christmas card.'  GB (Grandma Betty): Well you sounded so sad. I thought you were serious!  Me: Gosh no, if I wanted one of those pains in the ass, I'd have one!  Please, don't feel sorry for me! GB: Ohhh, ok....

So now that that's all cleared up, the initial pity party that I had planned myself is completely cleared up....oh, the holidays! 

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