Would go a little like this.....
Pat: Sooooo, We've got Val Hageman, 29 years old from Des Moines, Iowa?!
Me: Yep. (Smiley Face)
Pat: Married woman, are ya?
Me: Nope, just a wild single lady.
Pat: Oh, got any pets?
Me: Nope, can't stand them, they get all up in my space.
Pat: Huh, so what do you do in your spare time?
Me: Well, I spend a great deal of time judging strangers at my gym, surfing the web, and stalking facebook friends.
Pat: Oooookkay, well, we wish you the best of luck tonight.
Me: Thanks! Let's goooo wheeeeeellll!